How can sex and relationship coaching help you?
20•08•18
Generally, school sex education is great for learning how to put a condom on a banana, but what about learning about pleasure? Or anatomical functions beyond biology? Consent? Orgasm? Body acceptance? Porn? Communication?
Chatting to our friends, furtively consulting self-help books on the matter, and simply learning through the trial and error of experience- these can all certainly help, but they don’t always alleviate the gnawing feeling that there are still missing pieces to the puzzle of sexual fulfilment.
Chatting to our friends, furtively consulting self-help books on the matter, and simply learning through the trial and error of experience- these can all certainly help, but they don’t always alleviate the gnawing feeling that there are still missing pieces to the puzzle of sexual fulfilment.
When attempted alone, navigating our sexual relationships and the uniqueness of our sexuality can feel like an alienating experience.
It’s like facing a climb up a mountain that seems just too tall, or finding yourself at the edge of a sea too deep and full of murky waters to dare dip a toe in.
It’s like facing a climb up a mountain that seems just too tall, or finding yourself at the edge of a sea too deep and full of murky waters to dare dip a toe in.
Sometimes all that’s needed is to fill in the gaps with some learning and find the confidence to move forward on our sexual path with integrity, compassion and joy. That’s where personalised sex and relationship coaching can help.
A professional sex coach can help you do this through bespoke action plans that combine education, practical tools and emotional awareness. Some days, simply having permission to talk is vital, knowing that you will be listened to and offered a compassionate, non-judgemental space to freely express what might be troubling you.
Another day, you might need guided techniques and bespoke coaching tools to unpack unhelpful beliefs; you may need to reframe negative thought patterns that are tying you up in knots and getting in the way of your sexual expression.
My personal approach is multi-faceted, grounded in a combination of talk coaching, practical tips and techniques, education, mindfulness and somatic sex education.
A professional sex coach can help you do this through bespoke action plans that combine education, practical tools and emotional awareness. Some days, simply having permission to talk is vital, knowing that you will be listened to and offered a compassionate, non-judgemental space to freely express what might be troubling you.
Another day, you might need guided techniques and bespoke coaching tools to unpack unhelpful beliefs; you may need to reframe negative thought patterns that are tying you up in knots and getting in the way of your sexual expression.
My personal approach is multi-faceted, grounded in a combination of talk coaching, practical tips and techniques, education, mindfulness and somatic sex education.
What exactly is somatic sex education?
We live in a world that often values finding practical solutions to challenges over simply sitting with our emotions, allowing them to be there and inquiring about how they may be serving us. We have been so conditioned to ‘think’ and ‘do’ it’s surprising we are called human BE-ings at all. If we want to uncover and nurture our sexuality, we have to stop thinking and doing and start simply being.
Somatic sex education teaches you how to feel rather than think. It teaches you how to feel grounded in your own skin and be guided by your own your own body's compass towards your unique and authentic sexual fulfilment.
It is a practise that applies the principles of mindfulness to the body in order to heal stored emotions, understand boundaries and consent, identify desires and learn new ways of giving and receiving pleasure.
Through the foundations of Breath, Placement of Attention, Movement, Sound and Touch, we can learn to become more aware of our bodies, our pleasure and each other. We become less reliant on external stimuli, such as pornography or the touch of others, and more in control of our sexual potential, whether that means reaching expansive orgasmic states, experiencing fully embodied sensation or deeply relaxing into connection and intimacy with others.
With these practices as our foundation, you will learn to release emotional and physical blockages, self-regulate your nervous system and identity and articulate your needs. As a result, you will be in a much better place to enjoy solo and partnered sex with confidence, pleasure and greater satisfaction.
In short: through somatic sex education, we learn to become sexually mindful.
Somatic sex education teaches you how to feel rather than think. It teaches you how to feel grounded in your own skin and be guided by your own your own body's compass towards your unique and authentic sexual fulfilment.
It is a practise that applies the principles of mindfulness to the body in order to heal stored emotions, understand boundaries and consent, identify desires and learn new ways of giving and receiving pleasure.
Through the foundations of Breath, Placement of Attention, Movement, Sound and Touch, we can learn to become more aware of our bodies, our pleasure and each other. We become less reliant on external stimuli, such as pornography or the touch of others, and more in control of our sexual potential, whether that means reaching expansive orgasmic states, experiencing fully embodied sensation or deeply relaxing into connection and intimacy with others.
With these practices as our foundation, you will learn to release emotional and physical blockages, self-regulate your nervous system and identity and articulate your needs. As a result, you will be in a much better place to enjoy solo and partnered sex with confidence, pleasure and greater satisfaction.
In short: through somatic sex education, we learn to become sexually mindful.
Somatic sex education provides us with the tools to move out of our heads and into our bodies.
So what happens in a session?
Key components of the combined talk- and body-focused coaching that I offer are: curiosity, agency, non-judgment, compassion and insight, based on years of professional training and personal development.
The first ‘Discovery’ session is a 60-minute conversation; a deep dive into where you’ve been, where you’re at and where you want to be. This is a chance for us to get to know each other and identify your goals, possible obstacles, your relationship with your sexuality and your relationships with others to date. Based on this introductory session, I will design a bespoke ongoing action plan to meet your specific needs in the sessions to come.
Subsequent sessions are usually 90 minutes, minimum. The overall structure of the coaching will always be forward-looking and grounded in a progression towards the achievement of your goals. However, it is also a process of growth and flexibility, and it is key for both client and practitioner to be aware of the fact that your needs may change. So while we will regularly check in with your overall objectives, this is ultimately a fluid process, and we will make room for any new issues that may arise and change from day to day.
The first ‘Discovery’ session is a 60-minute conversation; a deep dive into where you’ve been, where you’re at and where you want to be. This is a chance for us to get to know each other and identify your goals, possible obstacles, your relationship with your sexuality and your relationships with others to date. Based on this introductory session, I will design a bespoke ongoing action plan to meet your specific needs in the sessions to come.
Subsequent sessions are usually 90 minutes, minimum. The overall structure of the coaching will always be forward-looking and grounded in a progression towards the achievement of your goals. However, it is also a process of growth and flexibility, and it is key for both client and practitioner to be aware of the fact that your needs may change. So while we will regularly check in with your overall objectives, this is ultimately a fluid process, and we will make room for any new issues that may arise and change from day to day.
Sessions may include:
and much more besides!
Sometimes you may not know exactly what you need – and that’s OK. We’ll form an agreement about which techniques or approaches feel appropriate at any given time. I will be in constant conversation with you to make sure you are always comfortable and getting what you need.
Transformation happens over time. I recommend packages of 5-10 sessions, ideally on a weekly basis. I ask for your commitment to the sessions and to the weekly home assignments that you will be invited to explore in between our meetings.
(After all, if you hired a personal trainer in search of a six-pack, turned up for training when you fancied it and sat on the sofa eating doughnuts in between each session, how likely would you be to achieve your goal?)
- Talking
- Breathwork
- Sexual mindfulness
- Cognitive reframing
- Addressing emotional blockages
- Sex education
and much more besides!
Sometimes you may not know exactly what you need – and that’s OK. We’ll form an agreement about which techniques or approaches feel appropriate at any given time. I will be in constant conversation with you to make sure you are always comfortable and getting what you need.
Transformation happens over time. I recommend packages of 5-10 sessions, ideally on a weekly basis. I ask for your commitment to the sessions and to the weekly home assignments that you will be invited to explore in between our meetings.
(After all, if you hired a personal trainer in search of a six-pack, turned up for training when you fancied it and sat on the sofa eating doughnuts in between each session, how likely would you be to achieve your goal?)
My approach as a sex coach is all about empowering you to direct your own development and growth so that you can eventually act independently and with confidence.
This is about your journey, your body, your pleasure, your desires. You are in the driving seat, and I am there beside you.
To learn more about how I can support you, please don’t hesitate to drop me an email: louisa@louisamacinnes.com
It would be my pleasure to work with you!
This is about your journey, your body, your pleasure, your desires. You are in the driving seat, and I am there beside you.
To learn more about how I can support you, please don’t hesitate to drop me an email: louisa@louisamacinnes.com
It would be my pleasure to work with you!