Squeeze here for better sex
Ready to learn how to avoid premature ejaculation, to build sensation, and have greater control over your orgasm? Ready to get your sex life back on track?

Then read on….

Sex can sometimes be tricky. Performance anxiety, body image issues, pain and recovery after childbirth can all put a break on our desire and inhibit our capacity for sexual satisfaction.

Luckily for you, I have some super simple steps to help recharge your libido, increase your confidence and rocket fuel your potential for pleasure.

Let me introduce you to your kegel (or pubococcygeal - PC) muscles.

Imagine that you are going for a pee, and you want to stop your pee mid flow. Or go try that, literally, right now.

Now try including your anus. Imagine that you’re in a meeting, and desperately need to not, erm, ‘pass wind’. What do you do?

Those are your PC muscles at work. Say hello!

These muscles form part of your pelvic floor, provide support to your pelvic organs, and are important for the sexual function of all male/ female identified bodies.

A strong pelvic floor can help with:

  • Increasing pleasure and sexual satisfaction
  • Building sensation- and therefore libido!
  • Maintaining stronger, harder (sometimes even larger) erections
  • Recovery from urinary incontinence
  • Increasing lubrication
  • Delaying ejaculation
  • Prolonging orgasm
  • Easing menstrual tension
  • Toning the vagina
  • Preventing prolapse
  • Easing prostate problems
  • Becoming multi-orgasmic- yes, for everybody! 

Exercising these is as important as any other muscle in your body, and way more fun. So how do you begin? 
I’ve outlined 4 simple exercises for you to start with:

  1. The Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy: squeeze (with an inhale),  Hold (for a count of 3), Release (with the exhale). Repeat 5 times, then build up repetitions as you get stronger. Notice your anal muscles clenching and relaxing with each breath.
  2. The Sipping Straw: take a long, slow inhale as you squeeze up and in, imagining that you are slowly sipping liquid through a straw. Hold for a count, and then with a long, slow exhale slowly release the muscles as if you are gradually letting the liquid flow back down into the glass. Repeat.
  3. The Flutter: clench and release your PC muscles with quick panting breaths. Contract- release- contract- release. Go slowly to start, to play with and identify how the clench feels on both the inhale and exhale. Some people find it easy to contract the muscles, but harder to relax. Notice how it feels to fully let go. Then repeat, building up the speed as you get more confident.
  4. The Elevator: pretend you are on an elevator going up. Gently tighten your PC muscles. This is the first floor. Then relax and imagine you are going back down to the ground floor. Go up the elevator again, tightening your PC muscles as before when you reach the first floor, and tightening further as you go up to the second floor. Then go back down to the first floor, relaxing your PC muscles slightly, then back to the ground floor as you release them entirely. Continue this process to the third, fourth and fifth floor, contracting your PC muscles tighter each time you ‘go higher’ and relaxing them gradually as you descend. Play around with this! You could pause at any floor, holding the contraction, before going back up or down. You could even see what’s in the basement- how would it feel to push down on the pelvic floor even further, to see if there’s still more to let go off? 

Putting this into practise...
  • Try to exercise daily. It takes 21 days for new habit to form, so put a reminder in your phone for the next 3 weeks and see how much you can progress in this time. What feels easy, and what are you struggling with?

  • Aim to build up to 100 exercises a day. You can break these down into more manageable chunks if you prefer- eg 3- 4 sets of 20-40 repetitions each day.

  • You can practise standing in a queue, waiting for the kettle to boil, brushing your teeth. Is there an existing habit you already do in which you can incorporate these exercises? Or would you prefer to set aside a specific time to focus and get flexing?

  • Practise during solo / partnered sex as well. People with penises- when you are masturbating or having penetrative sex, notice when you are close to orgasm. Slow or stop your movement entirely, contract your pc muscles as hard as you can, hold and take some deep belly breaths. People with vulvas- try squeezing/ releasing around your inserted finger, dildo or partner’s penis during penetrative sex. How does this squeeze/ release affect your pleasure?z

Some other helpful tips:

  • If you’re struggling not to contract surrounding muscles (butt/ abs/ thighs etc) on the inhale/ clench, it may be that you haven’t quite located your PC muscles properly. Vulva-owners: use a finger to touch the inside of your vagina, the outer lips, your perineum (the bit between your anus and vagina),  your anus. Penis owners: place a finger right behind your balls and before your anus. What happens in each of these areas when you contract/ release?

  • If you struggle to ‘release’ in the exercises, experience a lot of pain during sex, or do a lot of ashtanga yoga or pilates, your PC muscles might be hypercontracted. Pause the contracting/ clenching for a while, and just focus on relaxing the muscles instead. Gently push the pelvic floor down. This may also include your abdominal muscles, which is OK. How much more can you let go, release? Remember to use your exhalation to support you with this.

  • Remember it can take practise to properly isolate and exercise these muscles! You don’t learn how to run a marathon overnight, so go gently and with patience. Practise makes perfect. 

To conclude (although really, we are just beginning): getting the foundations of these practises nailed, and incorporating them into your daily life will introduce you to a whole new world of confidence, resourcefulness, and expansive pleasure.

Having toned PC muscles is one of many tools you can incorporate into your sexual education, journey and growth. If you’re interested in learning about how one-to-one coaching can support you in achieving YOUR specific goals, then please do get in touch.

Book a free consultation call now!